<![CDATA[]]> https://integratedcounselling.co.za/blog/ EN Sun, 16 Oct 2022 20:04:00 +0200 Incomedia WebSite X5 Pro <![CDATA[Restoring Sexual Intimicy]]> imblog
One of the foundations of a good marriage/relationship is based on sexual compatibility. Often as time goes by, sexual intimacy either reduces or there is total lack of. How come this happens?
 
A relationship is like a vehicle. We take our cars in for a service. Why? In order to prevent it from breaking. But do we maintain or service our relationships by doing check ins with each other? Nope, we don’t. Until it starts breaking…
 
Often during this time one partner will complain of the lack of sexual intimacy. Due to a lack of emotional connection, we will avoid sexual intimacy which will lead to the death of romance. Some need sexual intimacy to allow for emotional connection. Spot the problem?
 
There are steps we can take to correct this. If there is a willingness to make changes to allow for emotional connection to be restored, there is hope. At Integrated Counselling we guide you and give you tools to reconnect as to allow for a healthy relationship that includes sexual compatibility.  

]]> Sun, 16 Oct 2022 18:04:00 GMT https://integratedcounselling.co.za/blog/?restoring-sexual-intimicy https://integratedcounselling.co.za/blog/rss/00000000D <![CDATA[Can a relationship survive an affair?]]> imblog




I have a couple walking into my counselling room. One of them barely sits down and starts crying. Her partner had an affair. She is crushed and feels like dying. Can a relationship survive an affair? The good news is YES.

More couples break up due to bankruptcy than affairs. This has been statistically proven.

First of all one has to understand that the affair is a symptom of something that is wrong with the relationship. One has to go back to find the cause of the disconnection in the first place. Only once the cause/s has been discovered, can true repair work start on the relationship.

Genuine remorse and forgiveness needs to take place as part of the process of healing. It can take up to 18 months to get over the betrayal.

At Integrated counselling we look at the stages of loss experienced during this time and how it affects us psychologically and physiologically. With the correct guidance and new tools we forge a new way forward. The results are extremely positive.
]]> Mon, 27 Sep 2021 07:08:00 GMT https://integratedcounselling.co.za/blog/?can-a-relationship-survive-an-affair- https://integratedcounselling.co.za/blog/rss/00000000C <![CDATA[Break Ups Due To Self Esteem Issues]]> imblog




Often when one starts looking at the causes of a break up, it becomes clear that the relationship was never as perfect as we perceived it to be. How come we make bad choices when choosing a partner? Often, when digging a bit deeper, it can be related to low self-esteem. On an unconscious level we don’t believe we are worthy of a partner that should meet our very basic relationship needs and wants.

Where does this come from? It could come from our childhood where we form an identity and attach a value to it. It could be caused by previous relationship failures. Can this be changed? The good news is YES. At Integrated Counselling we look at the many factors that lead to low self-esteem. We look at the coping mechanisms, barriers of defence and excuses we use in our everyday life to cover up how we really feel inside. We help you to tap into your worthiness. ‘I deserve to be with a partner that will love and nurture me as I do him.’ We teach you about the foundations of a good relationships, how to spot red flags and how to date with dignity.
]]> Mon, 27 Sep 2021 07:05:00 GMT https://integratedcounselling.co.za/blog/?break-ups-due-to-self-esteem-issues https://integratedcounselling.co.za/blog/rss/00000000B <![CDATA[Anger Management – Some Of The Causes]]> imblog



The good news is YES. As long as there is self-awareness of bad behaviour and a willingness to change, there is always hope.

The foundation of peoples conflict management skills begin with their families while growing up. So you can well imagine that if you did not have a good role model or teacher, you would not be at a great start at handling conflict. When someone sends us a message of judgement or criticism that especially affect our value and belief system we can see red.

It is therefor very important to identify the triggers that make us really angry. The common ones to note are stress, anxiety, fatigue and hunger. Sometimes we need to dig a little deeper and issues of mistrust, abandonment, dysfunctional families etc. can be the cause.

Integrated Counselling teaches couples how to communicate in such a way as to avoid these triggers from happening. We have a look at how certain substances like alcohol or drugs can also lead to mood altering in a negative way. There will always be a cause to bad behaviour. Once the causes are identified, one can embark on a process to control and neutralise feelings of immense anger that lead us to lashing out and sadly hurting the people we love most
]]> Mon, 27 Sep 2021 07:03:00 GMT https://integratedcounselling.co.za/blog/?anger-management---some-of-the-causes https://integratedcounselling.co.za/blog/rss/00000000A <![CDATA[Relationship Conflict - Some Of The Causes]]> imblog



This is probably the single biggest issue couples are facing at the moment. And it is leading to break ups... There are some factors that are fuelling the fire at this point in time. First of all, on an unconscious level, many are experiencing a loss due to the Covid pandemic. When dealing with a loss, there are stages we go through. One of them is anger. We are angry at ourselves, our partners and often project these feelings of anger on the ones we love most.

This leads to bad communication. When we receive a message from our partner that is seen as a judgement or criticism, we take it personally, become reactive and lash out. What do you think happens next? Our partners reciprocate this bad behaviour and we end up in a vicious cycle of being nasty to each other.
Can one solve this problem? The good news is absolutely YES. At Integrated Counselling we teach you new ways of communication and give you tools on how to resolve conflict in a proper manner without killing each other with words.
]]> Mon, 27 Sep 2021 07:00:00 GMT https://integratedcounselling.co.za/blog/?relationship-conflict---some-of-the-causes https://integratedcounselling.co.za/blog/rss/000000009